This is actually a piece that I wrote before the thesis defense, which I passed, but it shows how I was feeling at that point, and even after a decent amount of time, I still like it, so I repost this here to come back to the moment and keep my lively thoughts alive inside of me.
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Ever since I decided to study in America for my Mater's degree, my life has been going off from a typical path for a Japanese person: Graduate from high school, go to a university, graduate and start working. The estimation from the society is prevailing. We are expected to follow the "typical path" and many people seemed not to even notice the expectations they have for other people.
My decision to come to M.A. TESOL program in IUP was absolutely necessary in my life. Without this, my life wouldn't be my life.
With all the courage to "go off" from the typical path,
With all the responsibilities to follow what I have believed,
My life exist as it is today.
Am I confident of all the decisions I made?
Am I proud of all the decisions?
Were my decisions right? Or did I have better options?
I don't have any answer for them. I can't answer, simply because I don't have the answers.
All I know is that I did what I did.
Tomorrow is my thesis defense day.
It's the day which tells me if I can trust all the things I have done for the past two years.
It's the day which tells me if I was fully responsible for the decision I made two years ago.
It's a little scary when I think it that way.
All I can do right now is to trust what I have done till now, trust all my friends who directly and indirectly supported me, and trust all the people who supported me until now.
My life wouldn't exist without even a single person who left a footprint in my life.
Thinking about this fact, I can't help being very, very grateful for all the people who I've met.
Whatever happens tomorrow, I'll face it.
My life has already been blessed by all the people who once walked into my life.
-April 9th, 2013. Kaz-
